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	<title>TED Blog &#187; desire</title>
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		<title>TED Blog &#187; desire</title>
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		<title>8 great talks about love</title>
		<link>http://blog.ted.com/2013/02/14/8-great-talks-about-love/</link>
		<comments>http://blog.ted.com/2013/02/14/8-great-talks-about-love/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2013 20:00:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kate Torgovnick</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Culture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[desire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Esther Perel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[long-term relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mating in captivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[passion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[TEDTalks]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Esther Perel begins today’s talk with an intriguing question: “Why does good sex so often fade even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?” It’s a question that’s highly appropriate to think about on Valentine’s Day. Perel, the author of the book Mating in Captivity, offers a compelling theory for [&#8230;]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=blog.ted.com&#038;blog=14795620&#038;post=69384&#038;subd=tedconfblog&#038;ref=&#038;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
				<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-69385" alt="Esther-Perel-image" src="http://tedconfblog.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/esther-perel-image.jpg?w=900"   />Esther Perel begins <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship.html">today’s talk</a> with an intriguing question: “Why does good sex so often fade even for couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?” It’s a question that’s highly appropriate to think about on Valentine’s Day.<br />
<a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship.html" class="video_teaser" target="_blank"><img src="http://images.ted.com/images/ted/7d8ab7dbfa71c6bf8991a9dff6af926e096e1a96_240x180.jpg" alt="Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship" width="132" height="99" />Esther Perel: The secret to desire in a long-term relationship<span class="play"></span></a><br />
Perel, the author of the book <i>Mating in Captivity</i>, offers a compelling theory for why desire is so hard to maintain in long-term relationships: on the one hand, a relationship must satisfy our deep-seated need for security, dependability and permanence while at the same time meeting our equally strong need for adventure, mystery and the unexpected. It’s a paradox so many couples feel: that great intimacy does not necessarily make for great sex.</p>
<p>For a fascinating look at why we’re experiencing this “crisis of desire” (hint: it’s the first time in history when we’ve expected marriage to be about passion) and how we can boost out erotic intelligence within the space of a great relationship, <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_the_secret_to_desire_in_a_long_term_relationship.html">watch this talk</a>. And below, more great TED Talks in the areas of love, passion and sex.</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_studies_the_brain_in_love.html">Helen Fisher: The brain in love</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/mary_roach_10_things_you_didn_t_know_about_orgasm.html">Mary Roach: 10 things you didn’t know about orgasm</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/hannah_brencher_love_letters_to_strangers.html">Hannah Brencher: Love letters to strangers</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/helen_fisher_tells_us_why_we_love_cheat.html">Helen Fisher: Why we love, why we cheat</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/jenna_mccarthy_what_you_don_t_know_about_marriage.html">Jenna McCarthy: What you don’t know about marriage</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/pistol.html">Thomas Dolby: “Love Is a Loaded Pistol”</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/isabel_allende_tells_tales_of_passion.html">Isabel Allende: Tales of passion</a></li>
</ul>
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